


double disposition

by shoddyWordsmith



Category: Naruto
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Fuuinjutsu, May be rewritten, Sakura Isn't Useless, Sakura had an Uchiha friend, Tobirama is Sakura's Inner, Tobirama is done with everyone's shit, but they work it out, they are both very confused at first, updates sporodically
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-03-07 03:17:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18864625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shoddyWordsmith/pseuds/shoddyWordsmith
Summary: The first time Inner ever speaks to Sakura, she's six years old, facing the cold, hard fact that the Uchiha, in one night, have been completely destroyed.Oh no,they say, quiet and shocked.DISCONTINUED until further notice. Will be rewritten under the name 'Samsara (did it wrong)'





	1. Think

**Author's Note:**

> just an idea i've been playing with- don't expect too much.

 

The first time Sakura ever hears the voice, she's six years old.

She's sitting in her classroom at the Shinobi Academy. The day, perhaps in a fit of cliche, is completely normal, if a tad bit dreary. The sun is shrouded by clouds, and the wind that drifts in through the open window smells of an incoming storm. Still, the sounds of the busy village are clear- merchants moving wagons of foreign merchandise, civilian children running through the street and gleefully screaming, some incoherent yells. Everything is the same as always.

Which is, perhaps, why it's so shocking when Koji-sensei looks at them, grim-faced, and tells them, "Your Uchiha classmates will not be coming back."

Silence. The faces of the clan kids- the ones who showed up today, anyway- are completely serious, if a bit frightened. Whatever is going on, they know what it is.

It's one of those moments where she can only feel intense jealousy for how much easier it is for them; their parents tell them of all the things they need to know. They came into the Academy with a foundation built for the explicit purpose of becoming a ninja.

"Yesterday night," Koji-sensei begins again, then stops, hesitating. It makes dread rise in Sakura's chest, because Koji-sensei is anything _but_ hesitant. The man always speaks clearly, with a sort of certainty in his voice. He doesn't ever falter, not in the whole year she's been in his class.

He sighs, running a hand through his loose black hair, sets his shoulders, and tells them bluntly, "Yesterday night, the Uchiha clan faced a massacre. Every Uchiha clan member was killed, except for one Uchiha Sasuke." He looks at them with stern, but sympathetic eyes, because of all of them, he seems to realize the sheer shock that they're all experiencing- the disbelief, the fear, the denial. Gentler, he says softly, "Your Uchiha classmates will not be coming back."

Again, there's silence. This time, it's oppressive and choking, because the Uchiha were their _friends_. Juro and Hitomi, their _classmates_ , dead? But they just saw them yesterday. Everything was completely _normal_ , nothing was different, they had eaten lunch with them, laughed, played ninja tag through the school grounds, smiled and asked questions just like the rest of them. Sakura _knew_ Hitomi, Hitomi was her _friend_ , and-

Dead? She's... _gone_? Just like that?

There's a fragile tension in the air that snaps into a million pieces all at once, questions pouring out of young mouths, demanding answers. Why are they dead? What happened? Who did it? Will Sasuke be coming back?

They wash over Sakura like an unwelcome tide. Hitomi... dead?

 _shock-denial-anger_ , flashing through Sakura's mind like someone was sharing her head, followed by a breathy, deep voice saying, ' _Oh no_.'

Everyone is too worked up to realize when Sakura jerks in her seat, head whipping around to see who spoke to her. She sees no one, and unease curls in her gut, joining the grief and shock that remain. Who said that, she wonders. She knows she heard a voice, she's _certain_ , it was clear as day, right next to her! She can barely think over the sounds of two kids in the back of the room sobbing, Koji-sensei trying to calm everyone down, children shouting questions. Everything crashes together, too overwhelming to process, because the Uchiha clan had _hundreds_ of members, and now Sakura is hearing voices.

Is she going insane, she wonders blankly.

 _reassurance-shock-confusion_. Then, ' _You aren't going insane_ ,' said in the same voice, deep and imposing, but more hesitant this time. Unsure, but perfectly enunciated, like the noble clans. Like the Hyuuga, or Nara, or- or Uchiha.

Oh _kami_. _Hundreds_ of people. Dead?

The feelings that ghost along her thoughts, _dread-shock_ , match her own perfectly.

The Uchiha clan is gone.

**

The voice that she heard doesn't come back, and she ignores the faint touches of foreign emotion that prod at her. She doesn't- she doesn't _care_ , right now. Hitomi is _gone_ , hundreds of others, and suddenly the village seems so empty. No more black hair and black eyes, no Military Police except for a select few who weren't of the Uchiha. There's no more flickers of red eyes glancing at something that they want to remember, no more graceful children loudly begging siblings and parents to teach them their clans' signature techniques.

After a few days, Sakura drags herself towards the Uchiha district. She knows, _knows_ , that it will be bad, but she can't help herself.

When the imposing gates come into sight, she understands, finally, why there's still been people coming to and from this road. Memorials, all along the stone wall: paintings of fallen friends, posters of the Uchiha symbol and carefully illustrated Sharingan. There are flowers everywhere, photos stood up and nestled between them. Random knick-knacks, strewn on the cobbled street, accompanied by families sitting or standing around, quietly offering prayers, paying respects. Widowed wives and husbands, Sakura realizes with horror and a terrible, aching sadness, stand without their children, because of course they would, anyone with Uchiha blood is _dead_ , their _children_ were murdered all in one night-

Sakura notices, almost peripherally, that she's crying, even as her feet carry her towards the monument of others' grief.

' _How could such a thing even be allowed to occur?_ ' the voice in her head says, _snarls_ , _fury-grief-horror_ crashing over each other, and _yes_ , Sakura agrees, feeding the feeling, because she completely agrees. One person, she thinks. One person, one of their _own family_ , did this to them, left Sasuke alone when before he was surrounded by his own family.

Sakura doesn't think she'd ever be able to recover from that. She's not even sure if she can recover from _this_. She doesn't think she'll ever not be furious that Hitomi- Hitomi, who painted nails, braided hair, slept over with Sakura, her best friend- is _dead_ , that she was _taken away_ from her for no reason. Hitomi _wanted_. She was a dreamer, always curious, wanted to be a doctor, wanted to heal and live and learn, wanted everything she could possibly get from the world, and she had grabbed Sakura's hand and pulled her behind her, set on taking the world by storm. Sakura had helplessly adored her, had practically worshiped the black-haired girl who saw Sakura alone, and decided that it wasn't right, had been Sakura's first true friend.

There's flashes of foggy images blinking in and out of focus, of battlefields filled with screams and the metallic tang of blood in the air, of fear and determination paired with grudging respect. Of a man who saw his brother fall to a blade wielded by a pale hand, who went mad with grief and rage, always wanting to protect his family first and the world second. Of guilt and a grim victory, of a village thrown together by two souls, one joyful and one broken but trying, slowly growing, filled with laughter and black-haired children running and laughing right next to the people who were once their enemies, of feeling awe and hope for future generations.

Sakura doesn't quite know where the memories come from, because they aren't her's, but she also understands them on an instinctual, sympathetic level.

 

**

 

It isn't until a week after the Uchiha Massacre- as it had horribly been dubbed- that Sakura finally addresses the voice inside of her head.

 _What are you_ , she thinks, a faint unease curling low in her stomach. Because it isn't her, couldn't possibly be, not with the dreams of the Warring Era that have plagued her sleep since it first spoke.

There's a hesitation, a _dread-unease-consideration_ , then the answer comes as, ' _I'm not quite sure, myself._ '

Sakura thinks about immediately retaliating, demanding answers, but being in the Academy has taught her to think, so she considers the response. It sounds just as unsure as Sakura used to be, before- before Hitomi grabbed her hand and pulled her behind her. Always behind, but Sakura had never, not even once, resented her for it. _What do you mean_ , she asks, hugging her pillow tighter to her chest, legs pulled up and her back to the corner of her bedroom, making the mattress under her dip strangely to accommodate her.

Again, the moment of no response, then, ' _I believe... I believe that I died, before this._ '

It does nothing to help her unease, Sakura thinks. If anything, it only makes it stronger, a stark fear lighting up in the center of it. A ghost? Is she- is she being possessed, or was she cursed, is there a jutsu that does that? She has no idea-

' _I'm not possessing you,_ ' the voice says, sounding annoyed and a tad bit offended, like her even thinking it was just ridiculous- and wait a second, was it _hearing her thoughts_? That's impossible, it's just _not_. A second personality, maybe? She's heard of others talking about it, it might be possible, but it strikes her as exceedingly unlikely.

' _No- I'm not a second personality,_ ' they drawl, but there's a flash of _unease-fear-whatif?_ that seems to shiver through her, an echo like it's not her own emotions, like someone else is thinking it. ' _I lived a life before this,_ ' they clarify, and the emotions that they're feeling are ruthlessly squashed.

That would, Sakura thinks, explain the dreams. So far, she hasn't caught her reflection in them, hasn't been able to actually feel anything in them, and she wonders if they aren't even her's. She had thought for a bit that her mind was just getting creative, and when she had gone reading about the Warring era in an effort to see what the heck she was seeing, it hadn't really helped them stop. She does know that the hands that she used were always bigger, a bit paler than her's, with calluses that all experienced shinobi tend to have.

' _Yes,_ ' they say, as if reading her mind, and she's pretty sure that's exactly what's happening, ' _I was trained in the shinobi ways from a young age._ '

She thinks about the odd, _wistful-regret_ feeling that goes with that statement. A flash of small hands clumsily wielding a kunai comes through, and Sakura thinks that he was probably younger than she is now. Unless he was really small for his age- which gets an _annoyance-offense-excuseme?_

"Okay," she whispers out loud, pulling her blanket tighter around her, "then who are you?"

 _youwon'tbelieveme_ / _whydoIevenbother_ / _mayaswelltry_ , a string of random, disjointed thoughts, then, in a tone that very much suggests that no, he doesn't expect to be believed, answers, 'Senju Tobirama.'

Yeah, disbelief doesn't even begin to cover it.

She actually has to cover up a snort, but the amusement quickly fades when she's bombarded by short moments of memories that aren't her's, filled with things she couldn't even begin to think of-

His mother's ninken- a wolf, as is common among the Hatake- Rin, watching as Tobirama spars Hashirama, movements unsure but determined, a trepidation of their onlooking father finding fault in how he moves that urges him to push himself harder-

He's sprinting over the river, chakra expertly utilized to only use what's necessary, because he knows that this particular clan will surely find his scent if he treads on solid ground. Blood, tacky and half-dry, is on his skin, crusted under his nails and staining his katana's blue hilt a dark, muddy red, and the half-formed thought of,  _Touka will not let me live this down,_ is almost completely ignored as he stretches out his senses, trying to keep track of how far back the squad is-

The first time he's using his Hiraishin in true combat, and it's a heady rush of victory as he sees the shock in Izuna's eyes as Tobirama's blade slides through his gut, even as dread rises. Madara's chakra, already a wild bonfire, seems to explode as he realizes what's happened, and Tobirama can already hear his brother's alarmed shout-

He's watching with grim determination as his squad runs, already turning to face the ambush that he knows is there for him-

Blood spatters as he strikes down one, two, three of the Kinkaku. Lightning sears along his right side as he barely ducks out of the way of a Raiton. He stabs a kunai efficiently into the neck of a fourth, spring-boarding off of his body to avoid the cluster of senbon that were aimed for vital areas, one hand flying through signs, calling up the water- always the water, with him, forever his father's son- and it responds gloriously, as it always does, rising in a massive tide, shaping into a dragon. The Kinkaku scatter, shouting-

He's encompassed in one of his Water Dragons, katana drawn and prepared to drop out of the water to surprise them, when suddenly his Dragon becomes a live current, lightning racing through it and dragging a scream from his lips, the water that's supposed to be his own instead choking his lungs-

Hands trembling on the muddy soil, black creeping into the edges of his vision, and he looks up to see a grim smile, as a naginata is driven down into his vulnerable neck-

Choking, body desperately fighting death, but Tobirama already knew this was coming-

Sakura strangles a shout, burying her face into her pillow, fine trembles running through her body. There was so much blood, it all happened so _fast_ \- is this what awaited her? This desperate, fast-paced form of battle?

' _No_ ,' Tobirama- and there's no way she doesn't believe him now, it's certainly him- tells her sadly. ' _No, that battle was a rare occurence. It's not always so serious, isn't always weighed by the odds that I had. You'll be fine._ '

Sakura is unsure, though- it's overwhelming, to see what a truly powerful ninja can do, to know that it could be used against her. Sakura knows her own strength, and she knows she wouldn't last more than a few second in a fight like that. She doesn't think she'll ever be able to be that good.

' _You'll be fine,_ ' Tobirama tells her sternly, drawing the words out as his thoughts race, ' _because I'm going to help you._ '

 

 


	2. Adjust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i meant to update this yesterday, but the website decided to delete my draft :) after 5 hours of working on it :))

 

Sakura doesn't really notice what's happening, at first.

Since she's only seven-then-eight years old, some changes are to be expected-  _encouraged,_ even. It only makes sense that her sensor range has expanded; they're reinforcing their chakra core and training more intensely in school, after all. Her quieter, constantly aware manner of being is a reasonable way for those training to become shinobi to fall into, as is the way that her steps become quiet, more practiced, until each placement of her feet barely disturbs the ground. It's all common, all different things that can easily be attributed to other things in her life. Her red shirts have been carelessly tossed aside, blue jackets taking their place. Which is good, of course! Her red would be hard to blend in with. It's really just a logical decision to make. Her skill with wielding kunai rapidly improves- so maybe she'll be skilled in wielding them. Everyone has their specialties, and short-weapon using is common. Her chakra control is the best in their class- the best in the whole academy, maybe, her sensei tells her.

It's not until Sakura is standing in front of the mirror in her bedroom, considering cutting her hair shorter, that she realizes that the style she's been thinking of is the exact way that Tobirama used to wear his own.

That thought draws up the carefully pressing presence of the older soul in her body.  _notonpurpose_ /  _whatelse_ /  _noteit,_ he thinks to her, then a clearer, ' _When did this start?_ '

Weirdly enough, the discovery that she's right- and she has to be, with that immediate and clear response from him- doesn't make her panic. Like, at  _all._ It feels almost natural, this smooth transition that she's going through. A lot of other kids are experiencing the same thing right now, she knows. Mostly, the clan kids all have more confidence, walk quieter, watch their surroundings; their clan training has started to become tougher, lately, and it's helping them advance in leaps and bounds.

She wonders if she  _should_ panic, though. Probably.

Since her father is off at work, and her mother- well-

(Her mother has never even been in the picture, really. A hard pregnancy, her father tells her, but her and Tobirama are both completely aware that it was just too chakra intensive for her to handle. A civilian woman should never have been burdened with the sheer amount of spiritual chakra an unborn Sakura had possessed.)

she's not afraid to answer him aloud. "I don't know," she tells him, but it sounds a bit like a question. If she thinks about it, it could have been as early as the Uchiha massacre- her coping method of Hitomi's death is oddly reminiscent of Tobirama's way of dealing with his siblings' deaths. Which is to say, harder training, fighting through constant, useless bouts of guilt, and general insomnia. But, maybe...

"Maybe always?"

Because Sakura isn't an idiot, and she can draw patterns. She was cheerful as a child, for sure, but she was also always constantly aware of an aching loneliness. She had always just credited that to her lack of friends. If she really thinks about it, though, she notices that she felt it even when she was home, with her father right next to her- like she had always had something missing. Tobirama had a massive family, after all. And always, always, he had Hashirama, even when his aniki was burdened with the expectations of the eldest. Sakura's an only child with one parent, no pets, and no clan.

Actually, a lot of things suddenly make sense. Her habit of gravitating towards water, the constant awareness of a stream that's all the way across the village. The way that she was quietly desperate for any praise that her father gave her, the way that she was always intensely jealous when she saw siblings together, the bone-deep warmth she felt when her hand touched the bark of a Hashirama tree.

She should probably be worried.

 _concern_ /  _becareful,_ then a voice that's quickly become familiar to her, ' _Just don't try any of my techniques yet,_ ' said with wry amusement.

And of course he'd know that's where her mind automatically went, she thinks fondly, rolling her eyes. They're probably too alike by this point to not know the general gist of what the other is thinking.

Well, she considers, eyeing herself in the mirror. She may as well cut her hair anyways.

She will be a shinobi in a few years, after all. It only makes sense.

 

**

 

It's hard not to notice the changes, after that.

She doesn't outright  _become_ the man. At the core, they're still very different people. Tobirama was raised in a time of constant conflict, taught to fight as soon as he could walk, killing his first man when he was six. He had no chance to become what Sakura has. He lost family almost every month, always exhausted due to the constant need of his abilities. Sakura has grown up in a time of relative peace, has been able to help ladies with their groceries and give flowers to upset children. She's been able to lounge around her house without the anticipation lurking forever in the background.

(She's never outright said it, but she thinks Tobirama would have liked to be able to be who she is. To be able to be kind, without getting hurt in the process. Because at heart, Tobirama is incredibly kind, she knows. Whenever the thought comes to mind, the Senju can never quite hide the warmth he feels.)

But she has moments where she's worried. She picks up his sleeping habits- which really can be translated to: she doesn't do much of it. It doesn't make her any more tired, but the nights where she wakes up at four in the morning, only to be unable to go back to sleep, are somewhat aggravating. It gives her more time to do homework, though, so she tries to take in in stride. She also takes a mild pleasure in trying to copy the movements she's seen Tobirama do in dreams, if only because he can't hide his complete aggravation when she purposefully messes up a part or turns it into a useless dance. She starts melding with other aspects of who he was- is?- too, though. She develops a liking for clothing that he would have preferred, and often finds herself trying to adjust a plush fur collar that isn't there. She finds herself looking at the deep red inks that are in shops, thinking for just a moment-  _that's the perfect color, it should last me a month-_ only to pause and wonder  _why._

(She learns, later, that Tobirama picked the color to resemble the blood of his brothers who fell- one for each of their too-young bodies, and one for his crazed attempt to revive one of them. Reminders to never forget.)

(Hashirama never quite understood, but Tobirama never expected him to.)

She's faster, now, too- on good days, she's on par with Sasuke, who's been in her class since she started her fifth year at the academy. Once they all turned ten, sparring became a daily occurrence rather than twice a week, and it's really helped her develop her style. It's a struggle to keep the moves that were unique to Tobirama out of her forms, and she fails more often than not.

Eventually, after over a month of stilted spars due to the sheer concentration it takes, she gives it up as a lost cause. She begins to break apart Tobirama's kata into pieces, adjusting what she needs to suit her smaller frame. It's still obviously Senju, though, so she ends up spending ridiculous amounts of time in the library trying to find references of Senju forms. She'll need the fallback of self-study if someone questions her about it, and she hates to be taken unaware. There's actually very little of it- some accounts of fighting against it here and there, a few illustrations of a Senju with a high bounty in the middle of combat, and some guesses as to their inspiration for such a straightforward and acrobatic way of moving. There seem to be two main styles- ones for those with more water-based chakra and a lithe frame, and those more attuned to the earth nature, more built for hand to hand combat.

Which makes it  _seriously_ annoying to come up with a good reason that she knows almost all of the moves for the Delta Form. Even more so, that so many of them are dangerously close to being a twin of Tobirama's famed, speed-based version of it, the Rapid Delta.

' _Not named by me,_ ' Tobirama grumbles in her head.  _uncreativeidiots_ /  _annoyance_

Sakura has a moment where she struggles not to laugh, because she's sitting in a library with a chunin manning the desk, and doesn't want to look crazy.  _Of course you didn't,_ she tells him good-naturedly. The man is just like the snow leopards he used to summon, bristling whenever he's even slightly offended. She'd find it cute, but he's also like, more than three times her age, so that's weird and she tries not to think of it, ever.

Kami, her life is so weird.

' _I'm rolling my eyes right now,_ ' he says mildly.

 _Yeah, I figured,_ she responds, glancing back down at the scroll under her hand. Honestly,  _Rapid Delta?_ That's almost offending. She is, like, personally offended on Tobirama's behalf. At least the names he comes up with are actually  _good._ There's a very real reason that the Yondaime didn't rename the Hiraishin.

She's pretty sure that the displeasure at that thought is shared between them. If he had renamed the Flying Thunder God, there would be hell. She would learn it specifically to give it back its name. Seriously.

She's not even really reading the scroll anymore, so she rolls it up with a sigh. It's fine, anyway; she's read a fair bit of text, today, and as strong as their shared love of knowledge is, it gets tiring trying to concentrate on the dull contents these things often contain. Beside it, she opens up the little notebook she brought with her, writing down the name of it so she'll have it on hand if she was ever accused of something- bad? She can't actually imagine getting in  _trouble_ for moving like Tobirama did, but it still gives her anxiety to think of someone demanding to know where she learned how to do it.

Her chair scrapes against the wooden floor when she pushes it back, standing up and scooping up the day's reading material in one movement. Two books and one scroll, this time, and one of the books is in a seriously worrying condition- the edges of the yellowing pages have tiny rips in them. Which somewhat makes sense, seeing as it's an original- she had to sneak into the genin section to get it. She's fairly certain that the chunin at the entrance saw her do it, but at this point she's convinced that it's more of a rite of passage than needing to have an actual rank to get into the different areas. She hasn't been quite daring enough to try to sneak into anything more specialized, because she isn't arrogant enough to think she's at chunin level yet. She really doesn't want to find out what happens if whoever is on library duty doesn't find her up to expectation.

She gives the man who's been stuck with today's shift a wave- Iwashi, she thinks his name is. He's in here pretty often, so she thinks that he might have a specialty in intelligence. If he was a in combat, sabotage, or tracking, he'd be out of the village more often. Obligingly, and with a huff that she's pretty sure is completely for show, he gives her a small wave back.

The man's face always has an oddly neutral set to it, so she can never tell.

Sakura doesn't actually have anything she has to do today, which is a bit odd, for her. She's taking the kenjutsu year-one class in the academy, which really just piles onto her workload. The last two years of the academy are the hardest, and even though they were all warned, it's kind of exhausting. This year is only the  _introductory_ phase, too, which means next year will be even harder. She knows it's built up specifically to filter out all of those who can't handle the stress of it, but it doesn't change the fact that she can't wait until it's  _over._ She truly dreads the workload.

She decides on just wandering the village, for now. It's always nice to figure out where all the hidey-holes are, which alleys can be trusted and which can't. Konoha may be hailed as one of the safest villages, but even they aren't perfect. As much as the Military Police are slowly recovering, they simply can't catch everything. Sakura is very aware that she's pretty, for her age- her pink hair and uniquely bright green eyes has drawn her plenty of unwelcome stares in the shadier parts of the village.

Since her father's out on a mission- a more frequent occasion, lately, since he's realized that Sakura can very well handle a week alone- she doesn't really have a curfew. With her insomnia, she tends to just wander around until the moon is close to midnight, then heads home to do her homework. She'd already gotten in two and a half hours of training before she went to the library- she's getting better and better with a bow and arrow, and is always pleased by how familiar it feels in her hands- so she's got at least two hours of free time before she needs to run by the market for a few days' supplies of food.

It's startling, sometimes, just how well the village has moved on past the Uchiha Massacre, she observes as she watches a woman she saw a few years back. The memorial is still there, sure, but it isn't anywhere near as large as it was that first year. The people of Konoha practically _rioted_ when they figured out that the law of all Uchiha living in the compound was still in effect when there was  _one child left._ Honestly, it might've been completely missed if not for the constant traffic of people visiting the memorial and paying respects to fallen family and friends. Still, sometimes it feels almost...  _wrong,_ that they've all just adjusted to the lack of Uchiha clan crests. That they've all been able to make new friends after losing their others, that they don't quite shy away from speaking of it anymore. 

On the other hand, she can sort of understand it. This is a village of shinobi, after all. They've seen war before, and a lot of these people have experienced loss, if not most. Moving on is just what they have to do to survive, or many of them wouldn't be here right now. Sakura, at least, has the advantage of a lifetime of memories in her mind, and knows that they haven't truly forgotten about it. It's the very reason that she doesn't accost Sasuke like all the other girls in her year tend to. She doesn't think anyone would appreciate having their only form of contact be infatuated little girls with childish crushes.

Personally, Sakura thinks that most of them will be shuffled into the career-genin class next year.

Sakura considers trying to befriend the last Uchiha, sometimes, but there's just something about him that makes her skin crawl. Makes a deep regret claw at her chest, an instinctual wariness.

Tobirama told her, once, that Sasuke's chakra felt frighteningly like Madara's. Not in nature- Sasuke would always register as stinging static while Madara's was all roiling heat- but in the  _presence_ of it. In the anger that's always there, the grief that Sakura doesn't think will ever fade. It's hard to remember, sometimes, that of all of them, Sasuke suffered more than everyone in the village combined. Those people who were killed were his entire family, and it all happened because of his own brother. The person he trusted most tore his entire world apart in one night, and left him with no safety net.

(' _Just like Hashirama did to me,_ ' Tobirama had shared, one night, grief and old hurt buried in the mild tone he tried to take, and to this day Sakura can't quite contain the emotion that him trusting her to the point of sharing it causes. Because Hashirama gave him the title of Hokage, told him he loved him, and then  _disappeared._ No explanations, no real goodbye, no closure. Just Tobirama, suddenly having to bear the weight of Clan Head and Hokage when before all he'd ever known was combat.)

And, speak of the devil, because as she turns a corner to walk along the bank of a shallow stream that runs through western Konoha, she catches sight of him.

There's a moment of stillness between them, when they lock eyes. When Sakura's sensing capacity narrows to focus on the way that Sasuke's chakra flickers in surprise, to observe the way his eyes narrow even as something like resignation shows on his face.

But Sakura is no foolish fangirl, and she's not here to obsess over him.

(Maybe, if she didn't have Tobirama, she might. Maybe she might see him as the closest to Hitomi as she could ever get again, maybe she wouldn't be able to understand what it's like to lose your family. But she does, so she doesn't.)

Instead, she glances away from him, doesn't speak, just silently takes off her black training-grade sandals. If he isn't going to speak to her, then she isn't going to speak to him. She can understand the want for a bit of quiet.

It's a bit of a guilty pleasure, both her's and Tobirama's, to let herself gravitate towards bodies of water. It's always been as much of a familiar friend as it has been a safety net, and even just feeling it on her skin as she lets it submerge her feet is a small comfort.

She ignores the surprise that surges through the chakra signature across from her, and instead lets herself start walking, following the water's winding path towards the south district, where she'll be stopping to shop tonight.

They aren't friends, she thinks as the distance grows between them, but they have something of an understanding, maybe.

 

**

 

Sakura curses as the arrow's fletching scrapes against the inside of her wrist, and mourns her arm-guard. 

' _It's necessary training,_ ' Tobirama reminds her absently, observing her positioning.  _notquite_ /  _understanding,_ then, ' _You let the heel of your hand curve inward when you released._ '

After several years of training with Tobirama, Sakura doesn't even get annoyed when he corrects her. She simply fixes the problem, nocks another arrow, straightens her shoulders, breathes out, and lets it fly.

No stinging contact this time, and she sends him a silent  _thankyou_ /  _appreciation_.

It's gotten much easier, as the years have passed, to communicate with him. They operate almost seamlessly, now, sending each other thoughts like second nature. There's no more confusion, no hesitation to share their thoughts- after the bloody memories that would leak through as she slept, they both know she can handle a bit of brutal honesty. It was irritating, at first, for him to constantly tell her every little mistake she made, but she got over it pretty quickly when she realized how much faster she progressed. Because really, in the end, they're so alike that almost everything that Tobirama suggests helps. Her sensing range is scarily large, at this point- she can sense over 10 leagues in every direction, now, and almost 25 if she really concentrates. It's developing a bit slower than Tobirama's did, but then, he was under a lot of pressure when he was learning. They think, with time, it could grow into something like Tobirama's, which was a ridiculously huge area that let him sense all the way to the edge of Fire Country, and beyond if he had the right seals to assist him.

She prods at her mental-map of the people in Konoha as she makes her way to her makeshift target, wondering at the changes that have slowly happened as she's grown older. She's in her last year of the academy, now, top of her class in kenjutsu, not to mention her entire yeargroup in general. She's not quite sure if she or Sasuke are doing better, seeing as kunoichi are a different category, but she doesn't really mind if he is- he's got that same exhausted set to him that she does, nowadays, the one that means that studying eats up his nights and practice eats up his day. Every once in a while, she'll catch him with a ninneko clinging to the padded material he wears over his shoulder on one side, whispering things into his ears, or trying to trip him by running in front of his feet. A clever way to test situational awareness, as well as tuning out distractions- unless they're really just making conversation. Knowing Sasuke, though, he'd probably tune out casual conversation just as much as he would Naruto's antagonizing taunts.

Sasuke and Sakura certainly aren't the only ones in their year who have changed, though. Sakura may be in kenjutsu, but there are two others in their class who she sees in there, as well. That's not even mentioning the other specialized classes that students can take- a semester-long supplementary fuuinjutsu class (that Sakura really wants to take next year, but  _kami,_ her poor  _workload_ ), a long-range weapons class (that she  _also_ wants to take, because  _archery,_ her and Tobirama are so weak for weapons), a genjutsu course, tracking, intelligence gathering, advanced traps, and chakra theory. And those are only the ones they can take  _now._ There's all of those and like, five more next year.

Tobirama might know a lot, but he's just as new to this more advanced world as she is. He was more of a scientist than he was a weapons specialist, but he had always been interested in it- which really only spurs Sakura on even more to pursue it.

(Maybe, in another world, another life, Sakura may have ignored it- may have thought that trying to look pretty was more important, because really, she wasn't in this for  _real,_ right? But here, now, with Tobirama always there, Sakura is completely confident, and she knows that this is her entire life on the line.)

For all that Tobirama is her elder by a large margin, there's something of a camaraderie between them. It'd be pretty silly if there wasn't, by this point. It's kind of impossible not to have grown to like each other at least a little bit when they've known each other for almost five years. And really, even if it's not her own fault, there's always a spot of guilt when she remembers that he can't necessarily talk to anyone other than her. She tries to make it bearable, if only for that- listens to his whims, more, tries not to antagonize.

 _focus_ /  _stopthat_ /  _iknowwhatyou'reupto,_ he communicates wryly, making her fingers twitch.

And that's something, too. There are times, every once in a while, when her body will just move of its own accord to do what he asks, like he's in control, even if it's only for half of a second. It's been happening with increasing frequency, as their relationship has progressed, and Sakura should probably be concerned, but she trusts Tobirama with her life, by now.

' _I'm touched,_ ' he says sarcastically, which is basically akin to someone else saying  _stop, you're embarrassing me,_ and Sakura can't help but huff out a laugh. He does something akin to flicking her chakra, and she laughs again even as she jerks, almost dropping the arrow that she's just pulled out of the painted-on target that she put on the tree over a week ago. She checks the sharpness of the point by rote, and mentally notes that she'll have to fix them, soon. This poor set of arrows has been constantly repaired for training, and the mix of arrows with feathers or plastic fletching just makes the quiver look a bit eclectic.

As she unhooks the string of her bow- a recurve, this time, though a longbow always feels better in her hands- she thinks to him,  _You should be,_ in a teasing tone, then, more considering, said with careful slowness,  _Do you think- do you think you_ could  _take control, some day?_

It's a cause of anxiety, for her. She trusts Tobirama, of course she does, but she really doesn't envy him being stuck, with no real control, inside of her head. It must've been hell for him when she was still a kid, lacking the maturity that finally eased his constant displeasure- especially when she went through that horrifying, one-week-long phase of acting as childish as possible in spite, just to show she was still herself. It was a week filled with bewildered teachers, gleeful boys that let her play pranks with them, and one long-suffering and utterly humiliated Tobirama. At the time, it had felt righteous, but now whenever she thinks about it, she just wants to hide and never see light again. Just... become a geological feature in the forest. She seriously considers it, sometimes.

Instead of the thoughtful hum she'd get if they spoke in person, she gets a  _thoughtful_ /  _wecouldexperiment_ /  _someoneiscoming_

Which she considers, for a second.

Then-

Oh shit, someone's coming?

She almost drops her quiver, as she had been in the process of picking it up, but recovers. She focuses more on the approaching chakra signature by habit, paying more attention to her surroundings. She thanks whatever gods handle luck, because she is suddenly very glad she managed not to make a complete mess- the man who's approaching the training ground had on the green vest that declares him a chunin rank or higher, with chakra that says he's an accomplished ninja. With the easy confidence that he walks with, she's guessing jounin, or a very specialized chunin. Sakura loathes embarrassing herself, almost as much as she does the scorching heat in Wind Country. Which she's never been to, but she'll take Tobirama's word for it. As alike as they are, she doesn't doubt she'll burn just as viciously as he did.

The man makes an exaggerated face of surprise, and, really? She's pretty sure every chunin and their boyfriend knows that Haruno Sakura is, as her teachers constantly praise, loudly and embarassingly,  _a fantastic sensor, truly a good asset to our village._ She's been approached by more curious shinobi than she can count, at this point, either blatantly or just hiding nearby to see if she can spot them.

Which is usually annoying, but there was one or two of them who tried to use fuuinjutsu to conceal their chakra signature. Unique, and much more gratifying, as it means they take her a bit more seriously, but ultimately not much use against a sensor of her caliber.

Her thoughts must show on her face, because he gives her a sheepish smile around the senbon hanging between his lips.

"Sorry, sorry. You must get this a lot," he says, walking up the slight incline to where she is. His eyes scan the clearing with practiced efficiency, and Sakura firmly pegs him as a jounin. Special jounin, at least.

"Did you need something?" She asks, because she's nothing if not polite. Even if it's a very grudging polite.

He watches her as she turns to sling her quiver over her back, and answers with, "Actually, I was told I might be able to help you."

That, more than anything else, gets her attention. He looks decidedly smug about it.

"Your teacher told me you've already learned everything that introductory kenjutsu can teach you. Miyu-chan asked me to help you out."

Sakura tries to imagine Miyu-sensei- a stern-faced, if absolutely stunning woman- being called  _chan_ right to her face, and can't suppress her guffaw.

The man grins at her easily, rocking back on the heels of his feet. "Yeah, I'd suggest not calling her that to her face. For a retired kunoichi, she sure packs a mean punch," he says, clicking his senbon against his teeth. "I'm Shiranui Genma, in case she didn't tell you."

The way he says it makes it obvious that he doubts she did. In which he is absolutely correct. "Of course she didn't. Kami forbid Miyu-sensei actually just  _tells_ us things."

A moment of silence, where he raises an eyebrow expectantly.

 _givehimyourname_ /  _you'rehopeless_

"Oh! Haruno Sakura," she says, face flushing in embarrassment.  _amusement_ /  _justdon'tdoittoHiruzen,_ which gets him a mental eye roll from her, because they both know that Shiranui didn't need her name, anyway, and that if she does it to Hiruzen, she'll probably die right on the spot out of sheer mortification.

Well, Tobirama probably meant that she's not dumb enough to do it right to the Hokage, which, thanks, but her point still stands.

To his credit, he doesn't outright laugh at her. It very much looks like he wants to, though. "Well, I was going to offer to help you out with that sword form she keeps catching you at," he tells her, wry, "but if it's archery you need help with, I am definitely not your guy."

She chuckles- more of a giggle, really, curse her high-pitched voice- as she places her quiver under her target, because it seems like she'll be here for longer than she expected. "No, the archery is more of a passtime-" ' _It certainly is not._ ' "-than something I want to master. I could definitely use some help with my kenjutsu."

For all that Tobirama helps her with her kenjutsu- she is doing it in the style he favors, after all- he can't really see her entire boy as she does it. He can feel it, sure, but how strongly he can feel it depends on the day. 

Another glance around, then brown eyes glance down to Sakura's sadly short figure. "Well, show me what you've got so far."

Which she gladly does. It's tiring, especially because she's already been training for four hours, today- a full run-through, as she always does on Fridays. Even after almost two years of training with a bokken, the bulky, thicker wooden blade of it felt odd. The part of her that's Tobirama used a bokken for not even a year before he was wielding a tanto, then a katana when he was big enough for it.

Genma watches once, with a calculating look on his face. It's a bit weird, because she's only ever had a few people see her do her forms outside of school, but she always enjoys the extra learning she gets out of it. When she finishes, there's a bit of dampness on her neck and forehead, but not much- thank god for years of practice.

Then he tells her to do it  _again._

This time, she works up an actual sweat. Genma stops her every once in a while, adjusting her position and telling her what she's doing wrong, or pushing against her bokken to test how strongly she's holding it. It's much more intensive than training alone usually is, but she's had the blessing of taking the class in the academy, so these are all procedure things. More thorough than Miyu-sensei is, but she anticipated that. Miyu had a lot of other students, and hasn't had to actually fight in a combat-oriented situation in a while. She has to spar, of course- all teachers are required to at least once a week, to be sure they know what they're teaching, but Genma teaches it like he breathes. It's a bit exhilarating to get feedback from a true expert.

"Well," Genma tells her afterwards, while she's walking big circles around the circumference of the training grounds, hands up behind her head, "you've got the hang of it. I've never seen that form before, so we'll both be learning, here, but it works for you, so I won't try to change it. Some practice and experience, and it'll settle in better."

She gives him a genuine smile, pride buzzing through her. She's always been a sucker for praise. "Thank you, Shiranui-san."

He nods at her, regarding her thoughtfully. "Well, I can certainly help when I'm around the village, but I can't guarantee I'll be here every week. Or even every month, for that matter, but I'll try to warn you if that happens."

Sakura's face practically lights up, even as she feels surprise. It's a big thing, to be granted a mentor even while in the academy- it means at least three of her teachers have given permission, means that they're sure she'll be able to handle it on top of schoolwork. It also means that Iruka-sensei, her homeroom teacher, already knows that she's on the track to graduating, that he knows she'll need the mentorship because her skills will actually be put to use soon. It's a huge show of trust, as well as a commitment she'll have to set aside time for.

"Really?" She asks, trying not to sound like a second-year who's just been given a kunai for the first time.

He doesn't hold back a chuckle, this time, but she doesn't even care that her excitement is obvious. "Yes, really. I am going on a mission tomorrow, though, so make sure to practice while I'm gone. I won't be teaching you if you slack off." He says it in a joking manner, but she can easily read the seriousness behind the words.

She nods, giving him a shallow bow. "I won't let you down, Shiranui-sempai," she tells him.

The look on his face is unreadable, but when he says, "No, I don't think you will," it sounds completely genuine.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since I updated late, I tried to make this one longer for you guys. sorryyyy ily guys


	3. IMPORTANT NOTICE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry ily

okay, so.

I'm super sorry to any of you guys who were, like... really liking this story. The fact of the matter is that I didn't really like where it was going, and couldn't think of any plot where it wouldn't get convoluted and completely ridiculous- like, over-powered characters and not enough of actual  _Sakura._

Don't get me wrong; I absolutely adore Tobirama, because he is Tobirama and deserves better, but this just isn't working out quite like how I planned it to. Depending on how things go, I might rewrite this. If I do, I'll make this into a series and put the new version in the collection, so it's easily accessible to any followers.

As of now, though, this story is discontinued. 

(i really like the idea, though, so i'm gonna try to make this work. promise.)

**Author's Note:**

> tell me if you guys want me to continue this, btw, because if you want me to i can try to update it a bit quicker than i otherwise would


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